marți, 4 iunie 2013

I'm Going To Change

 I'm tired to be someone that i'm not .Tired of being sorry for  everyone with a sad story  .Tired of people caring only for themselves . Tired  of  people judging when they actually  don't know anything . This is it , i'm not going to take it anymore , i'm going to be myself ! I won't care if people like me or not .  I'll  walk with my head held high and enjoy every day on this  planet. 

With each passing day i wonder if i can make it in this world .  When i walk on the streets i see people full of hate and with no goal in life , i see some with pain in their eyes , and some to  full of  themselves.  No one smiles  like they did when they were just kids , now they just put up a fake smile with no fillings   behind it . There are  a few people left that have fillings and enjoy their life , i want to be one of those people , and will try my best to become one . "You can't change the world if you don't change yourself" someone said , and i have to agree with that  person.  That saying is  true, in my opinion  ,some of you may think that it's not , but that's up to you . 

The Change

Here I sit thinking about the events of the day. I’m shocked as I think back. The same question keeps playing in my mind as the actions of others scream in my mind.

How can people act like that and not think anything of it?

How can people do the things they do and not think twice?

Why do we let them?

They make us feel stupid or stab us in the back. And we let them. We are kind, christen. And what does it merit us?

Sleepless nights

Do they ever lose sleep? Does the guilt ever come creeping up on them? Do those hateful things they say and do ever come back to haunt them? Do they ever think “maybe she’s different maybe she doesn’t like being told off”? 

Does it?

We get mad at them and fight with them. We suddenly find ourselves doing the very same things that they do. Suddenly we are the bad guys.

So now what?

Who was right and who was wrong?

I can’t really tell you who was wrong but I CAN tell you who was right.

It is the person who changes. The one who says “maybe I should have done or said that that. Next time I have a chance I will try to be nicer to the one who is hurting. I will make sure to always think of others. I will always put them first.”

Because the only way to fight what we hate is to NOT become part of it

luni, 4 martie 2013

Bacccck Part I

Helllo ~ 

 Well hell , it's been a reaaaly long time since i   posted here ...
   SO ..  i guess i should start by saying HAPPY NEW YEAR !  ( and all the other stuff )
Anyway ..  Back to   the point

 I decided to come back , and post  stuff from my life here cause ,  a lot has been happening lately and .. i think  this might help me , in some ways  ^^

  So to  make it  quick and tell you what happened  in the past year   ( that is 2012 )

  On the 18th of  feb , my" Brother "  died .   He was one of the best  dogs   someone could ever have.
 He was 13 years old  .   And all i want to say  is that he left me  ,with some great memories that i will never forget  I  really hope that where ever you are now , you are happy and   watch over us  like you always did .

I'm sorry  for starting with something sad ...  
 In  May ,   we temporary   got a   puppy  that was   found  on the side of    some village ,  skinny and scared , her name was Mura ,  and we kept her for about 4 months  until she got adopted , she was one hell of a cute puppy and looked like an German Sh.
But she got lucky and a   nice man adopted her  and from what i've heard  she is doing fine .

 Summer  Vacation started and i could think about was  A-Camp , but sadly that was in  August  and before that ... mom   made me go to another camp from the Dan Voiculescu Foundation , witch sucked .. but i'll tell you later about that ...  soo ..  
In June   , I  went with Ana , her brother and   gf to Vama Veche , were i got  really drunk in the first night  ( well actually pretended to be drunk cause i was to  tired to answer to people , but shhh.. don't tell anyone :D )      Saw a lot of hot and i  mean HOT  dudes ( my definition of hot .. is a  male  with   beared ,  long  hair , dreads ,  and most important an nice personality  , not jerks :D  )
 We only stayed for a weeked  but in the second day (  Sat . Night ) my parents  decided to " surprise me"  by coming  too .     They  were  unexpectedly nice and friendly with everyone ,  made jokes ,   laughed at a drunken ( epic) Jesus .  The next day we  went home  T^T

  hmm ...  don't really remember what happened after that ...

 but  we found a kitten ..   then  another puppy   ( both got adopted )  

  Fisrt up was   Dan Voiculescu's  camp . that was free...
 And i must  say ,  for me it SUCKED ,  it was horrible ,    and i don't think i would have survived if my  old classmate Alex and Ana wouldn't have been with me > . <
 We weren't allowed to do anything  without  the HOLE   group to participate , and  if by a miracle we did manage to   do something it sucked ,    the food was horrible ,     some of the kids  got  food intoxication and were sent home  , but i wasn't    as lucky as them , no... i had to stay a hole week in Costinesti one of the most  dirty  beaches i have ever seen ,  it was full and i mean FULL of drama queens and   idiots .
 I simply hated it ,  that week felt like  a month   , and i couldn't wait to get home  and ...  relax .

  After this ..  A-camp came ,  i was so excited  i could  bearly sleep xD
 I remember   when i got to the train station ,  i saw a few people i know from Otaku and Nijikon , but i was so  sky  and embarrassed  to go to them   , so i waited  and saw a girl i talked to on facebook and just ..  stayed with  her  xD
 The train came ,  we got on it  ,  and  lucky for me i had seats next to her . At first there weren't   to many of us , but  before the train  announced  it's departure ( not sure that's the word)   a HUGE mass of people  boarded  the train and   i just knew they were gonna be my friends in the upcoming week .
 Next to me  sat  2  twins ,  that were very friendly and  at fisrt i thought  they were around my age ... but guess what ...  i was wrong ... they   were 21 . if i think about it ... i was  among the youngest of the campers ..   but that didn't seem to matter ,  because everyone was so nice and friendly that it didn;t   matter . hell  everyone  treated everyone the same .  The firts day was  a little ... weird because i didn't know anyone  and most of them  knew each other from  other caps   or were friends  and .. i was  pretty much and  outsider  so it felt weird . But that ended pretty  fast  cause    we had to do some pretty funny  things to get to know each other like ... get a  bag of  stuff and an egg and try  to  pack ( i know that's not the  greatest word to use ..  ) the egg so  when we trow it from  the first  floor it won't crack  .  And other crazy stuff ...
 The point is ... that this camp was one of the greatest and most awesome things i have ever been too , and i will go  to the next camp and the next  until i'll be   soo old they won't want me anymore :D  and  i made A LOT of friends that i intend to keep  ^ ^  cause they are simply awesome :3
 Summer is over  and 10th grade started ..
 and what i have to say is that i have been skipping a lot .   I don't know why , but i can't stop myself and  i've been thinking of  finishing 10th grade and ... quitting  cause ... i just  don't feel  it's right .. and i know what most of you are thinking ... "   yeah ..   she;s an idiot you can't do anything witout a  highschool  diploma and bla bla bla " but that's not  exactly what i want to do ...
  What i want to do  is   quit  after 10th grade and concentrate on  drawing and painting , as much as i can cause i want to get good  at it so i can enter UNArte without  a problem .. but i can't  do that when  school feels my time with useless things that i will never use in life..
 so  .. my play is to  quit  ,  practice for 1 year   and get  at good as i can get , then  when i'm 18 ,   go back and finish my last 2 classes , take the exam ( BAC)    and enter University without a problem ^ ^
  The this is that ...  it  just doesn't feel right for me to countinue  going to school , it feels like a mistake ,  i just feel it  that  if i want  to acheave my  goal to  become a graphic designer i have to do this .
 The sad thing about school  is that ...  everyone knows you are skipping but no one in  the school   talks to you to see  what is wrong with you , or give you some advice ... all they know is  to yell at you  or make fun ...  and i'm pretty sick of people like that ..
 yep i't 1:46 am  and i'm pretty sleepy ... so i should  go  to  bed and countinue  this  in the morning :D

   Also  before i go , i want to say that it feels pretty good to  ... "be back " and  it made me feel a  little better .annnd  i'm pretty sure no one will read this sooo that's even better , but if you  are reading this .. would you mind leaving a comment  ,  you don't have to say anything just   ...idk something so i know someone actually took the time to read this mess ....
  Thank you ~

 *  btw ... Sorry for my spelling mistakes *